


Keep You Warm

by Tarlan



Category: Traders (TV 1995)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-26
Updated: 2008-05-26
Packaged: 2017-10-20 18:11:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/215677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack had reached a crossroads in his life and thought he had only two choices. He could move on with Ann or he go on alone, and then Grant showed him another road.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep You Warm

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **smallfandomfest** Prompt: Traders, Jack/Grant, Cocoon

"Cocooning? Did he say that exactly?" Jack asked and Donald confirmed what Grant had said to him at breakfast that morning.

Jack swore under his breath. Damn if his week was not getting worse by the minute, he thought as he pushed to his feet and strode past Donald. He had a backlog of work, several potential clients to negotiate with, and Adam on his back. On top of that he still had no place to call his own, a junkie ex-girlfriend who'd tried to kill herself with a heroin overdose, and now Grant was sliding back into a mental state that would have him institutionalized. He was beginning to wonder if his life could get any worse.

He drummed his fingers on the wall behind him as the elevator car moved too slowly down to the parking lot, squeezing through the gap as the doors finally parted at his destination. His car was only a few bays along, having regained his prestigious parking spot once he had bought his way back into Gardner-Ross. Jack was more than halfway across town to the apartment he shared with Donald and Grant when it occurred to him that he had dropped everything for Grant, putting him before business, before getting back onto his independently financial feet, even before Ann. It was a revelation he could do without because it had been a long time since he'd put someone else's needs before his own.

I feel responsible for him, that's all, he thought, trying to convince himself that this was the only reason. After all, he had been the one to persuade Grant to leave his quiet, solitary and stress-free existence of feeding squirrels in the park for the hard, cut-throat world of finance. Some how, the promise that he had made that day in the park - the one he had never planned to keep - had become more important to him than anything else.

He pulled up in front of the apartment and stared up for a moment before stepping out and taking the fire escape stairs up to Grant's bedroom window. Old newspaper covered the opening part of the window in an attempt to diffuse some of the early morning light that caught that side of the building. Jack looked through a clear pane, sighing softly when he spotted the figure huddled up on the bed, buried beneath the blankets.

What he couldn't understand was why Grant had chosen this moment to cocoon, wondering if it had anything to do with the talk they'd had yesterday concerning Ann. His fingers began to tingle in remembrance of the way he had gently but forcibly brought a halt to that discussion by guiding Grant out of his office with a firm hand to the back of his neck. He rubbed his fingers together, the touch memory recalling the warmth of skin and the softness of the hair at Grant's nape. He shivered slightly as that tingly sensation swept through him before viciously forcing down his body's automatic reaction.

Wrapping his jacket around his hand for protection, he smashed through a pane of glass, carefully working away the jagged edges before reaching in to the latch of the opening panel. It worried him that Grant never twitched, his eyes staring straight ahead without blinking, as if he was already too far gone into his cocoon to hear someone breaking into his room. Clambering inside, Jack made his way to the single chair and sat down, his heart heavy in his chest as Grant remained unresponsive.

"Grant, they're not gonna let you out if you keep doing this."

Except maybe Grant didn't want to stay out anymore. Maybe he had already decided that this world was simply too much for him to cope with on his own, but he wasn't alone, not while Jack was with him, and Jack didn't want to lose Grant. Not this way, and not when he had already lost so much else in his life.

"Don't pull this shit, Grant," he begged but Grant stared ahead like a statue, unblinking, unmoving, as if the covers surrounding him had blanked out the rest of the world. "Come on. What about Ann?" he asked, hoping to appeal to the unrequited love that Grant felt for Ann even as he felt guilty for using that against Grant.

"I don't matter to Ann."

Relief at hearing Grant respond vied with confusion. Ann? Jack closed his eyes momentarily as parts of the puzzle began to fall into place. Ann was a heroin addict coming down from an overdose and, very likely, in the throes of withdrawal right now. Jack had been down this road with a friend once before, years ago, so he knew the ugliness that could come out of the mouth of the one in withdrawal; the festering pus of their lives oozing out between the cracks; the bitterness, resentment and self-pity hurled as daggers against anyone who dared to try to help or comfort. Grant had gone to see her last night and had taken that hamster with him, but he hadn't given the hamster to Ann. Instead he had brought the small creature back to the apartment.

She must have said something in the heat of anger or pain, striking out at the only other person apart from the hospital staff who had ever truly given a damn about her but Grant was too vulnerable for her harsh words.

"Just want to sleep."

The despair in Grant's voice made Jack's heart ache even more and he shifted from the chair to the bed.

"All right. Come here. No cocooning," he demanded, and pulled Grant into his arms, wrapping him in a strong embrace and rubbing one hand through cocoon-warmed hair affectionately as Grant clung to him in seeming desperation. It seemed so easy to bury his nose into the soft hair, to breathe in the scent of Grant and bestow gentle kisses of affection, the fine strands parting beneath his lips, and then to taste his skin, lips grazing over temple and forehead.

The realization of what he was doing struck suddenly and Jack pulled back, shocked at the easy way he had fallen into kissing and caressing Grant like a lover instead of a friend. He expected to see confusion but instead he found awe in the wide blue eyes, unable to pull away when Grant initiated the next kiss, the gentle brush of lips on lips sending pulses of desire through him. Still he hesitated, knowing he was standing at a crossroads, and that if he took this path then there might be no turning back.

His hands slipped under Grant's pajama top, palms gliding over smooth skin as he made his choice and deepened the kiss.

Later, while sprawled naked on Grant's bed with Grant snuggled up against him, his head pillowed on Jack's chest and one arm slung across his waist, Jack stared up at the ceiling as the doubts flooded through him and he wondered where they could go from here. In comparison to his relationship with Ann, Grant was every bit as high maintenance but he was sweet and gentle with others, trusting and kind where Ann was more like Jack, a voracious shark circling the rest of humanity with little regard to how their victims might fare after the attack. Except he had started to change since meeting Grant, had started to care about the people who handed over their companies and life savings, trusting him to do good by them if only because they truly believed that their successful business venture became his success too. In most cases that was the truth but sometimes he had made a deal purely to take advantage of them, selling them off to the highest bidder for a better cut of the profits.

Grant deserved someone better than him. He deserved someone who would always put him first and Jack wasn't sure if he could do that, until he realized that he already had. He had left his office at Gardner-Ross as soon as he knew Grant needed him, and he had left without caring about the phone calls lined up or the deals that would have been made or broken today. He had barely even thought of Ann lying alone in the hospital as she sweated out the heroin running through her veins, but Grant remembered her.

"You should go see Ann," Grant whispered.

"Why?"

"Because...Because you love her and..."

"No." Jack shook his head vehemently, recognizing the truth at last. "No, I don't love her. Not the way she needs to be loved." He tightened his hold on Grant. "I don't think I ever did." He brought up a hand and brushed the hair from Grant's forehead, fingers tracing the curve of an ear. "I love you though. I love you."

He felt the Grant's smile pressing against his skin, his arms tightening around Jack's body and he laughed, feeling as if the crushing weight of every bad decision in his life had lifted from his shoulders with that simple declaration. He pulled up the checkered blanket that Grant has used to cocoon himself within earlier, wrapping it around the both of them to keep them warm. In another time and place he might have chosen a different road to walk, either alone or with Ann, but in the here and now he had made his choice and, suddenly, the world seemed a much warmer and lighter place.

END


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